5 Reasons Why Girls Are Bad In Bed

Okay, folks; time for the sequel to my last post. This one’s a bit different and concerns a lot more physicality. You see, boys are more physical, in general, and to be fair to them and their point of view, the first two are the obvious shortcomings within the general feminine population.

First of all, there’ s the whole butt thing. I don’t understand it, but men are definitely rather obsessed with anal sex. Why one orifice isn’t enough, I’ll never know, I simply assume they are insatiable. Most women, we can all agree, won’t allow anal sex. It hurts, to be perfectly honest. Most men try to broach the subject at least monthly. From my perspective, my personal reluctance has no Biblical taint, nor do I judge gay men and straight, alike, who love the what, what, in the butt. Like I said, it just hurts. I know that a lot of people do feel like this is morally wrong, or buy into all that brainwashing, through the centuries, in the name of various religions. I also know that most men routinely want to do it.

While we’re talking about the booty, we might as well go ahead and attribute the second reason to the male oral fixation. On this, I’m not opposed, although I know plenty of women who are, as well as plenty of women who are bad at it. If you’re willing to do it, ladies, there’s no reason not to. I know five minutes down there feels like an hour. I know how tempting it is to ask if it’s almost over, but I also know that’s the worst thing you can do. Once you’ve begun, just keep going, until the buzzer sounds. The more you stop, the longer it takes, and there, you’re only making it harder (no pun, intended) for yourself.

Which brings us, thankfully, to our next point. Girls talk too much. Even I think so, and I am one. Our gentleman callers are not big on discussing absolutely nothing, for hours. It’s a little mentally challenged, to be quite frank. There is a happy medium, I assure you, however, talking on the phone, until your ears hurt from the phone, is not it. Texting is worse, by the way. There’s nothing more annoying than having to type a conversation with another person. If you must text, be straightforward and to the point, without forcing some poor guy to go back and forth for hours with you about your newest bit o’ gossip. It’s not worth the time.

And then, there’s that whole Rubik’s Cube thing. There are girls who get off on making boys miserable. I’d like that to stop, please. It makes life a hell of a lot harder for girls like me. Mystery is alluring, sexy, unattainable, and all that jazz. It makes the boys want to chase you, I get it. It’s cool. However, once the guy has had sex with you, ladies, the jig is up. That’s when the whole mysterious thing isn’t cute, anymore. For both halves, mean what you say and say what you mean. The guessing game, coy, damsel-in-distress crap, can take a hike, at that point in a relationship.

Last, but far from least, we have emotional prostitution. Using sex as a weapon is disgusting. If you’re not a good enough person to just, be honest and compromise, you shouldn’t be in a relationship. I have a lot of male friends who are scarred from emotional prostitution. I have ex lovers who couldn’t appreciate me for who I am, as victims of manipulation and P-trapping whores. I’m not a fan. It’s vindictive and unnecessary. A vagina is not a weapon, ladies, and using it as such, only makes for a terrible partner. Both in the sack and out of it.