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  • wittyjules 12:41 am on May 25, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , "bad dreams", , "child care", , , "dow jones", , , , "health and fitness", , , , , , , "new movies", , , , "Small, , , , , advice, , , bedtimes, , , , career ( 2 ), , , , , , coupons, , , , , , , , , , , gas, , , , , , , independent ( 2 ), , jobfind ( 2 ), , , , , , moods, motherhood, , , , , , , , , scam, scary, , , , , teach ( 2 ), teacher ( 2 ), teachers ( 2 ), technology, , , TV, unemployed ( 2 ), waitress, , , , , ,   

    The thing about pop culture is… 

    You’re readily/easily/immediately irrelevant. 

    In this day and age of instant gratification and revolving door recycled trends, we don’t stand out as the most sophisticated or introspective group of people. In fact, it seems we’ve spent a couple generations on merely forgetting that we are people…distracting ourselves from life, rather than embracing it. If life truly imitates “art”, then we are a bunch of Sims, shopping around for temporary brands of happiness. Can I ask a question? Well, another one, anyway…

    What the fuck happened to simplicity???

    When did a sunrise become irrelevant? We ignore (quite without a murmur) the little bits of joy passed to us from our Creator. It’s not “cool” to sit outside and soak up the sunshine, feel the wind in our face, or gaze out at the few trees we haven’t demolished in the name of “progress”. And we never take the time to miss it, either. We distract ourselves from real life with a fake existence of wasting time and counting minutes. We have to spend money, impress other people, eek our way to justification in any way deemed “socially acceptable”.  You can’t just LIVE. No…that would put lots of sleazebag salesman/lawyer/ad monkey types out of a job. How atrocious. We are and must be a nation of consumers. Buy shit you don’t need, they beckon, because we say you might need it one day.

    It’s all a gimmick…bottom line is ratings…soulless, yuppie, 80’s bad guys in a jar, is what we have become (with a few rare gems of exception; relatively speaking). Look in the mirror and tell yourself the fucking truth. It sucks, but it’s the only way to fix us. 

    All of us.

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  • wittyjules 12:47 am on May 20, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , waitress, , , , , ,   

    You can just tell… 

    (my secrets)

    I can tell a lot about a person by looking at them. Not at what they wear, or how they talk, but at the subtleties that make up a human life. Their eyes, hands, and shoulders all tell their stories. And I am an avid reader. For example, in any person’s eyes, written underneath the current expression (worn just for the occasion), you will find a mind reaching out, to meet yours.

    A person’s hands tell you the story of his/her life: the roads traveled, if you will. Hands will tell you if they work hard, or if they’ve led a manicured existence. If they’ve fought their way to this point, or oozed past us on easy-going sidelines.

    Shoulders…well, I hate to ever see them slump. It absolutely breaks my heart to see another human being at his/her breaking point. A person’s shoulders tell you a great deal about self-worth. This is, perhaps, the most integral. It’s one’s opinion of oneself, put forth into the world, which determines one’s destiny within/of/among Wo/Mankind.

     
  • wittyjules 10:12 pm on September 1, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , waitress   

    10 Reasons You Should Be Nicer To Your… 

    10 Reasons You Should Be Nicer To Your Waitress (this goes out to all the jerks who’ve ever sat in my section)…

    #10: Pretty obvious. She has more control over your food than you will ever know. She looks pretty innocent; doesn’t she? Remember your manners, and you’ll be just fine. Forget them, and you’ll risk throwing up all night.

    #9: It’s already a crappy job; why make her life more miserable than it has to be? I can’t imagine that anyone derives even the smallest amount of pleasure from making someone else unhappy. To imagine that would ruin my already tainted take on humanity, as a whole.

    #8: She’ll tell all her friends and, try as you may, you’ll never get great service, or great food there, again. We remember crappy customers; believe you me.

    #7: It won’t make your food come out faster, your waitress be any friendlier, or the world any better, to be a dick, for no good reason. Now, let me specify, if the service is crappy, you may have a point, but you may not want to send anything back to the kitchen, or swear and treat your waitress like crap. There is such a thing as constructive criticism, folks.

    #6: If you’re a jerk to your waitress, chances are, you’re not a good person. In fact, this is the biggest thing to look for on a dinner date. Someone who’s mean to the waitress is an immature prick, and won’t treat their date very well, once the ‘honeymoon period’ is over. I see it as an indicator of impossible egotism and ignorance.

    #5: She’s got a lot better relationship with the kitchen staff than you do, and she is your ambassador. Most people will never do anything gross to your food, but they will let your ticket sit for a few minutes, on principle, if you’re being a douche about time. Honestly, if you’re pressed for time, you shouldn’t be at a sit-down restaurant, you should be at McDonald’s, where your food poisoning is sure to be legitimate. If you’re like me and you loathe the very smell of a 99 cent cheeseburger and all that it entails, call ahead, get it to go and have a  cute little picnic, somewhere. Cook for yourself. Grab a pizza. Go to a quick, quality, mom-and-pop grinder joint. Anything is better than whining and ruining the atmosphere for everyone; yourself included.

    #4: She’s probably a single mom. Cut her some slack on the things she absolutely can’t control. Just a little. She’s not cooking your food, she’s not telling you to go screw yourself when you ask her to list every single one of the thirty-seven beers, only to ask for a Bud Light (as she likely wants to). So, give her a break. Remember a hard day you’ve had at work, multiply it by the thirty other people just like you, and shut up, for a minute. You’ll get your frozen drink on a Friday night, when the bartender finishes the twenty-three drinks ahead of yours, and the seventeen steps that go into making that drink. Ok? Ok.

    #3: She’s probably smarter than you are. If you doubt it, read the rest of this blog. Some of the most interesting conversations I have had, in my life, have been while closing up, with my fellow, lowly servers. Real conversations, about what books we’re reading (and writing), or theoretical physics. I once worked with a hostess who was in college to be an engineer, of jet propulsion science. Literally, the hostess was a rocket scientist. It happens all the time. I worked with another girl who was studying to be an astrophysicist. We talked a lot about Michio Kaku (the Science Channel Asian guy with crazy hair, for those of you who don’t know). The list goes on and on.

    #2: God knows when you don’t tip, and Karma’s a bitch. By the way, stop pretending you don’t know how to tip. Taking up an hour of my time, to leave me $4.50 on a thirty dollar tab, is just sad. That means I made $4.50, for an hour of work. My rule of thumb, is fifteen percent to a bad waitress, and never less than $5; I don’t care what the tab was. However, I am ridiculously generous, because I know what it feels like to slave through that job. So, you can’t go by my standards, either; you’ll end up broke, or eating out only very rarely. There is a happy medium. Look to your conscience, pay attention to the circumstances, and give the girl what she deserves.

    #1: She is a person, too, with cares, concerns, talents, and hardships. Take that into consideration, before you go around giving her a hard time. Pay attention to the fact that you are stepping on a whole another human being, for your own self-gratification, and do take more care. After all, you never know who’s keeping an eye on you, to make sure you are a good echo.

    Laugh long and often, tip your waitresses, kiss your kids. I’ll be here, all week.

     
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